Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed With Cancer - Getting Through The First Few Days

By Jayne Hutchinson

The first few days after the diagnosis of your loved one are the most confusing times of all. You are operating on limited information, and you are both in shock. Questions abound. Give yourself some time to adjust. Here are some recommendations compiled by myself, and others that will help you get through the first few days.

Acknowledge the News

Don't try to act as if nothing is happening. This is a crisis and your lives will change. Give yourself some slack. You may consider taking off work for a few days to get your breath back or cancel routine plans.

Communication

You don't have to tell anyone right away. Give yourselves a chance to digest this information without worrying about how to share the information with others or worry about what their reactions may be. There will be plenty of time to deal with this later. If you decide to tell friends and family, remember you are not responsible for taking care of them if they are upset by the news. Consider asking another family member or friend to call people you want to know if you can't or don't want to talk to them right now. If you need to be with family and friends, tell them so, if you need to be alone, be honest about that as well.

Gathering Information

If researching online is stressful or frightening, don't do it at first....or delegate it to someone you trust. You will have plenty of time to learn more later.

Don't Rush Into a Treatment Plan

In most cases, you will have several weeks or even months to make this decision. The only thing you really need to do initially is to make sure you have the next medical appointments set up....your next doctor's visit, and ideally another visit for a second opinion. After these appointments you will have the information you need to make your treatment decisions.

Write down all your questions as you think of them, for your loved one's doctor, insurance company, or employer. By writing these down you can release these from your mind until they are answered, and in the early stages of diagnosis, it's very difficult to keep all of your thoughts straight.

Take Care of Yourself

Emotional stress is extremely exhausting. You will most likely feel very tired for the first few days. Nap, or at least lay down for awhile. Go to a movie or do some sedate activity. Continue to exercise if that's part of your life, if not, just go for a walk. It will clear your head and make you feel better. Eat, even if you aren't hungry. You have a journey ahead of you and you need to stay strong.

These first few days are often the worst as there is very little information to go on and the emotional impact is enormous. It's important to remember that you won't always feel like this.

Jayne Hutchinson was immersed into a new world after her husband was diagnosed with cancer. She found there was little information and support available for spouses and partners. She created the My Loved One Has Cancer web site to fill that gap.This web site features comprehensive resources and tools to make the cancer journey easier for the spouse or partner of a loved one with cancer. http://www.mylovedonehascancer.com

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